Fiction Adaptation: Scene Changes + Development

After my meeting and rough cut viewing with Helen on Tuesday, I have decided to change the structure of the scenes in the film. Originally, I was focussing on the words of the poem which meant that in order to make sense of them, I decided to flick between locations, giving it a very montage feel. However, Helen said when watching the individual scenes one after the other, it was very difficult to follow and understand, with the narrative being completely lost. In reflection, I completely agree and think that I should simplify this considerably to ensure that the audience understands the narrative.

With Helen and Sam's advice, I have chosen to centre the film around the conversation that Ida and Imogen have at the Riverside. We will see them walk there, supposedly to discuss the problems highlighted later on. I will then use the other elements from the flashback with Troy and Imogen walking down the street and the scenes in bedroom with the mess to represent her destruction and realising she is alone which will cut in between. I plan to re-film on Monday at the Riverside to get some more cutaway shots of the location as well as more coverage of the characters. I particularly want to focus on the reactions of Imogen and Ida to make sense of the flashbacks.
The idea of the mannequin will be represented differently. Originally, Imogen wakes up and he is next to her but unresponsive. When looking at the footage it was very difficult to cut it to look like she had dreamt it and distinguishing between a dream sequence and real life proved challenging. Therefore I plan to use a reflection in the water and Troy standing in the distance as a figure to represent the menacing 'mannequin', as if he's following her and she feels like she can't escape him. I think this will work better and will be less confusing for the audience.