Fiction Adaptation: Fine Cut Viewing (Changes + Reflections)

Today I had a fine cut viewing with Helen for the fiction adaptation film. The feedback was mixed with Helen saying that the narrative of the story was coming across much better but that it could lend itself to some more montage as I working with such an abstract poem. I had originally started off with quite a montage approach, cutting between flashbacks and locations, in order to give it a more creative feel. However, from the rough cut viewing it was evident that the narrative was being lost. I reflected on this and decided to base the narrative around one location - the riverside and use a few flashbacks and visual imagery to pull it together. In reflection, I think that the narrative does come across throughout the scene and with a few sound adjustments, the elements of flashback should fit the edit. I have made a few adjustments to the cuts towards the start as Helen flagged up that there were a few sequencing issues. I have also played around with the sound design a little more and cut out the bedroom scene completely.
There are lots of corrections I would give myself for this scene, and although it does reflect what I visioned for it, I think that a few of the scenes could have been more well thought out. The first half of the edit was carefully mapped out so that the imagery fitted the words of the poem and there was a general sense of wariness of the character Troy is playing. However, having to think on my feet a little for the second shoot day meant that I had to piece together some of the footage I had for the second half and hope it worked with the poem when it came to editing.